The Massacre

have i mentioned before how i turned to banking as a career? don't laugh at me, but it was a childhood fantasy back those days when i was about 4 to 5 years old.

i had a pair of bankers as neighbours. they are a great couple and both our families always go for meals together, cooked for each other and my sis and i played with their children who are around our age. i always hear my mum said that my neighbour wore salvatore ferragamo shoes. back then, i don't know what these shoes were except that they were very very expensive shoes (that's how mum put it).and sometimes during festives seasons, through the eyehole from my apartment, i would see people delivering hampers to their house. though dad had quite a few hampers too, but i always wondered, why do they have so many hampers? then i asked dad and he said, that's because they are bankers.

and that's it. from the age of 5, i have my career and mind all set in banking.

i wouldn't say i had a great career so far nor that i've achieved alot as i feel that there is still a long road ahead of me, but i must say that i have learnt alot from the various roles i've undertook in the few local/foreign banks i've worked for. i've met some people i wish had not met, but also many great people i'm glad i've met. some became enemies and some became friends.

it was never easy. some asked if i love what i do. frankly, i don't. and those hampers don't really exist actually. these days, you need to declare monetary valued gifts to compliance in case you are being bribe and what's not. so no hampers and no salvatore ferragamo ...all bullshit. just some childhood silly aspiration. also handling clients or internal customers can be a pain. and what's worse is dealing with people's money, dealing with regulations and policies etc etc.

so why am i still here? for a simple reason - it's my bread and butter. life is not just about what you like to do or what you want to do, but sometimes it's about your livelihood. i've always wish i could worry less of others and just do what i want. but that never happened and will never happen.

and perhaps my recent career stint changed my thoughts of 13 years. i never thought that a job would be that important to me. and never thought that i would be feel affected if retrenchment were to happen to my organization as i always feel that one could easily move on and find something new. but perhaps as you aged, or perhaps it's on home ground, or maybe perhaps it's the many familiar faces, voices, friends, environment and surrounding you're facing and are in, the fear seems to surfaced gradually. that you want to keep your job.

the massacre took place today. it seems like any other day at work, but to the 900, i'm sure they left the bank with disappointment, anger while some others might feel relieve.

i'm glad it wasn't me. this day has marked the next milestone of my banking career as it is the worse i've seen and felt so far. let's hope for the better and let this coming christmas lift the mood up for us.